Andraste [8.8/10]

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Today we'll be talking about that special someone that makes you feel like you can do magic. A person? Of course not, I'm talking about Murmurs. More details will be provided below but in the mean time know that a modern day fantasy RP called Andraste is on the schedule for today!

The AD is overall well written, and give you the basic rundown of the site. It also states they hope the main draw of Andraste is the Murmurs, which are something like familiars except they control when you receive your magic. Alrighty then, lose that habit of speaking unclear (get it? Murmur!) and lets head onwards towards the review!

First Impression:
Hope that girl is good at the limbo. Overall the layout is nice, I only have one minor nitpick and that is I see no way to get back to the index page other than using the back button on the browser but other than that no problems.

The Public Area:
The History is divided into the school history and world history and both are overall well written and though I do have a few problems. In the section about Northrend there is an odd word combination "...retired warriors for searching peace.", perhaps should be "retired warrior searching for peace." Also in the world history you state that the Metal City of Genosha is in the deserts near Egypt. Even though it is stated that water mages created the ecosystem to be more like a tropical forest, that still means all the buildings are giant ovens baking those who are inside.

(Spelling errors: Recent School History - "alot" is not a word, last sentence "recieve" is misspelled. World History - under Cities, Genosha, "ecosystem" does not need the hyphen.)

Elements page, In the light section.. I have some serious problems with the illusion part mainly the fact that you state these illusions are four-dimensional in all entirety. I'd suggest to just simply say they're 3 dimensional and move on. I realize this is "magic" but this is going too far in my opinion.

Warning Science Rambling Ahead
(Skip Ahead if you Wish):

The main problem I have with the indication that the light illusions are 4 dimensional is really that you don't explain the 4th dimension at all. The 4th dimension is disputed to either be a spatial movement in which case we can't tell it's 4 dimensional or it's time in which case people can be haunted by light illusions for all eternity. Even if you simplify the 4th dimension as "tetraspace" that can be implied that time is a spacial dimension in special relativity. In which case you're entering the realm of parallel universes and a realm of movement that cannot be described aside from "A 4th dimensional direction." Of course this also begs the question on what these illusions entail since a 4th dimensional entity can only be seen when crossing the 3rd dimensional plane, a description to fit even a 4th dimension spherical object can only be described as a sphere that grows and wanes. And thus description of the object is harder for one to understand and explain as a whole.

I also have a problem with the whole explosive kinetic energy thing, I realize that sites using magic require a suspension of disbelief but with something as easy to understand like kinetic energy it's hard for me. I would have preferred controlled atomic energy bursts personally.

Ahh, Time Manipulation... while restricting the use of this or it's power as a whole on the site is done quite well, my opinion will stay the same. Time should never be able to be controlled.

The Corruption element seems like it needs to be closely monitored as well (to prevent powerplaying/godmoding), however it is interesting.

(Grammar/Spelling Errors: Near the beginning - "And how is that children and the school find out exactly what sub element is adept in?", in the Mind Section around where a mind is "too" complicated to read)

The List, a listing of the members on the site by elemental affinty along with their nationality in parentheses .

(Spelling Error: Marcus Kreuger's nationality is misspelled.)

Murmurs page, I generally have no problems with the whole page. I do like that Murmurs are admin generated and not user chosen.

(Spelling Error: "... in the awkward state of adolesences" should be adolesence.)

The Rules page overall is generally fine, in rule 5 however it's grammatically odd to me in the first sentence.

The Application:
First you get a page describing the ranks that are availble and what they particularly need on the site, and then you head to the application which is the norm.

The Private Area:
Layout change! But everything is still in the same theme so it's not too much of a distraction ever all the content is on the right side so any confusion is minimal (also yay for hullabaloo!) . There are 4 pages for the private area that aren't on the main page and I cannot access them though I do have a small nitpick. Anyone who has followed my reviews, knows that I prefer the FAQ page to be right after the rules (and public information) and this is no exception.

Forums:
There are a good amount of forums with good descriptions for each one, also the hotlinks to each section help navigating. Also the forums look nice overall.

Other:
Member list very nice, it shows the avatar of the user as well as an avatar of the murmur as well as giving a little information on each of them. (The link directly to the murmur section doesn't work but that is a result of code)

Member profiles are coded nicely, split into 3 parts for the Sage (IC Character), the Murmur and the Player (or OOC Info). The profiles themselves are filled out nicely, and due to the 3 sections it is organized neatly.

Roleplaying:
From what I read on the site I categorize the roleplaying on this site to be Intermediate to Advanced. Some of the posts however seemed a bit wordy and some seemed to fit too many things in one post in order to have a longer post length.

Rating: 8.8 out of 10 Points.

Overall a nice site, the only problems I had on the site were some of the things that I percieved to be rather farfetched. Everything is nicely detailed and the murmurs NOT being a member choice is something that I like. Again, overall very nice.


This Site has the Jello Seal of Approval!

Reviewed by: The Jello Emperor

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